A Difficult Task

There are times when Master Zach’s faith in my abilities is welcome and most encouraging, but other times his faith is misplaced, perhaps even blind. Now is a time that falls in the latter of those two, as it appears he does not recognize my vocal and verbal shortcomings. While I am an uncannily gifted turtle-of-affairs, I am also merely a turtle, and as such, am incapable of speech. Yet Master Zach insists I am the man for the job in his latest dastardly scheme. He has commissioned me to make a recording on which I am to speak highly of Master Zach’s defensive prowess, two-way play, selflessness and of how he generally exceeds Dainius Zubrus in all measures of competence. I am then to secret the recording in a play-back device somewhere near the bed in which Coach Sutter sleeps, and turn the device on to play during the night, so as to subliminally plant the notion in the coach’s mind that Master Zach should replace Mr. Zubrus on his line. I inquired to Master Zach as to his motives here, as he has never before shown an interest in playing on the Devils third line, and furthermore, it should come to him as quite a demotion. He reminded me most vehemently that Mr. Zubrus’ linemates are Mssrs. Pandolfo and Madden, who have, of late, been shockingly adept in the arts of scoring goals. But of course. I was foolish to have doubted Master Zach’s clarity of thought, but again, I fear I will be of little use in this case, as my voice has been inaudible on each of the recordings I have attempted. Only time will tell if this scheme bears fruit.

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