Revenge Ledger, 10/12/07

At the beginning of last season, Master Zach sent me on a dastardly plot to undermine Captain Patrik Elias’s mental stability. It is no secret that Master Zach has his eyes on that coveted “C”, and putting Elias off his game seemed the most direct route to getting it. He locked himself in [...]

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Revenge Ledger, 10/4/07

After Master Zach suffered a disheartening loss to begin his latest National Hockey League campaign, he requested I send telegrams to Mssrs. Lecavalier, St. Louis, Richards and Prospal. Each telegram was made to look as though they had come from the front offices of the Tampa Bay Lightning, and each one simply read, “You [...]

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Revenge Ledger 08/29/07

Today Master Zach set into play a very dastardly plot. He engineered to accept delivery of a gift of an article of clothing from Sir Sidney Crosby’s new clothing collection. Master Zach made sure he was in a crowded mall atrium when he said, in an elevated and excited tone, “I say! [...]

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Revenge Ledger, August 20th

Today saw months of hard work come to fruition as I assisted Master Zach in gaining a small measure of revenge against one who wronged him. I cannot name the target of our plot, as he is a man of great power and influence over Master Zach, but his name was indelibly etched in [...]

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Revenge Ledger August 11th, 2007

One of Master Zach’s dastardly plots came to fruition today. Months ago, he commanded me to stealthily, under dark of night, lift Master Paulie’s Hennepin County Library card from his wallet. Master Zach proceeded to check out a vast number of library books, not a single one of which he has returned. [...]

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Revenge Ledger July 26th

Today I had to delegate some of Master Zach’s revenge work to a henchperson. I will not name the unfortunate man who was selected to do Master Zach’s dirty work for him, but I will make note for posterity that he is a man of the utmost trustworthiness who has even fought for Master [...]

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Revenge Ledger July 18th

Today Master Zach invited young Travis Zajac to his annual Uno Tournament. However, he was not aware that I had carefully and sneakily rigged the deck, per Master Zach’s directions. On every new turn, Zach drew and played Skip cards, thereby keeping Travis from ever being alloted a turn. There was no [...]

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Revenge Ledger July 12th

Today I received a missive from Master Zach that read:
“You are hereby requested and required to replace Arch nemesis Crunchy’s jock strap with one made of tiger shark skin.”
Although I was unsure of how this plot would exact revenge, I did as I was told. I can only hope that the subtle difference [...]

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Revenge Ledger Entry for July 8

Today Master Zach requested I carve all of the foliage on Paulie Martin’s lawn into topiaries celebrating the great moments of Master Zach’s career. It took several hours, but I am fairly confident this plan will have the desired effect on Mr. Martin.

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