A Near Miss

It has been reported in several information outlets that Master Zajac had a near miss — a “close shave”, if you will pardon the pun — with a falling skate today. It has been written off by many as purely accidental, a freak occurrence of a skate slipping off a hook in young Master Zajac’s dressing room stall, but I have also heard mutterings from some corners that this was a dastardly plot devised by Master Zach to seriously injure or at least disfigure his rival. I would like to state here unequivocally that it was no such thing. Master Zach never had such an idea. What we were doing with Master Zajac’s skates today was far less insidious. I had been, in fact, perched atop Master Zajac’s stall above his skate hooks, where I was waiting with a razor blade. I was attempting to slice the laces on his skates, with the intent being to cause the skates to unexpectedly break open and fall off spontaneously during tomorrow’s practice, thereby causing Master Zajac no small manner of embarrassment. I am not a climbing animal by nature, however, and lost my balance. Above all else, I wanted to avoid detection, so I scrambled to keep from falling and as a result, the skate was jarred loose from its hook. I am just grateful that Master Zajac avoided injury, but am most regretful that the devious scheme Master Zach and I had been trying to put into effect was stymied by gravity.