Master Zach has set the wheels turning on a devious and potentially dangerous revenge plot, where Master Travis is the intended target. It has been widely reported across various news outlets that the New Jersey Devils are seeking a new Captain, as that odd fellow Elias has been deemed unfit for such a leadership role (that chap scares me. His henchoyster, who is always cornering me in dark alleys beneath the arena while our respective masters are at work, also scares me. I hope the new arena has fewer dark alleys.). It should come as no surprise that Zach has thrown his hat in the ring for the coveted letter “C”. His dedication to winning this honor knows no bounds. He has been spending hours in front of the mirror repeating, “I am a natural leader”. He has been subjecting me to any number of role-playing situations in which he endeavors to prove he can handle any difficult leadership situation. And he’s been stepping up his brown-nosing to the coach.
These strategies seem not to be working, as he has yet to receive that extra letter on his sweater. However, in the first pre-season game of the year, Master Travis notified Master Zach that he had been informed by Coach Sutter that, although he had no extra letter, he was in fact serving as an Alternate Captain (along with John Madden and Jay Pandolfo). I will admit to being proud of Master Zach that he waited until after the match to collapse into tears. Several hours later, after pulling himself together, he was able to begin plotting.
If Travis could say the letter was there when it wasn’t, Zach can say he has a “C” on his sweater, even if it is not visible. All that needs to be done is to speak convincingly of objects surrounding Travis that Zach can “see” which Travis cannot. When Travis looks away, Zach will deviously slip the actual object into place. When Travis looks back, he will see that Zach was right all along. Once Zach’s ability to see invisible things is established as fact, Travis will believe he has been named Captain, regardless of the physical evidence that suggests otherwise.
Travis will never fall for this trickery. Unfortunately for Zach, Travis can also see invisible things. Travis can see the raw desperation in Zach, but he is simply too polite to call attention to his teammate’s emotional shortcomings.
Boxworthy, surely you agree that Zach must be discouraged from moving forward with this plot. The potential for embarrassment is very high should things go wrong.
Zach: Embarass-what-now?
Dearest Ms. Katebits,
While I truly appreciate your concern, as you can see from Master Zach’s response above, he seems to have an extremely high threshold for embarrassment. In fact, in all my years of service with him, I have yet to see him recognizant of his own humiliation. I am deeply afraid that there will be no swaying him from this latest course of action. I also have no doubt that no amount of persuasion will convince him that Master Travis is capable of seeing the invisible; Master Zach simply refuses to accept that Master Travis has any discernible skills.
With kindest regards,
Boxworthy