I have been discretely following both Paulie Martin and Travis Zajac all summer long, attempting to establish which local parks the two gentlemen are inclined to visit. The plan is to wait until the park managers apply a fresh coat of paint to the picnic tables and benches. When no one is looking, [...]
Archive for July, 2007
Dastardly Plot 07/29/07
Posted in Dastardly Plots on July 30, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Revenge Ledger July 26th
Posted in Revenge Ledger on July 26, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Today I had to delegate some of Master Zach’s revenge work to a henchperson. I will not name the unfortunate man who was selected to do Master Zach’s dirty work for him, but I will make note for posterity that he is a man of the utmost trustworthiness who has even fought for Master [...]
Revenge Ledger July 18th
Posted in Revenge Ledger on July 18, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Today Master Zach invited young Travis Zajac to his annual Uno Tournament. However, he was not aware that I had carefully and sneakily rigged the deck, per Master Zach’s directions. On every new turn, Zach drew and played Skip cards, thereby keeping Travis from ever being alloted a turn. There was no [...]
Things I Cannot Overcome
Posted in Internal Grumblings on July 17, 2007 | 2 Comments »
I have been told by Master Zach that my web-log is oftentimes bereft of new content, that my ledger entries are spaced a tad too distantly. I find myself forced to remind the Sir that I am a turtle, and do not enjoy rushing things. I may be a turtle-of-affairs by profession, but [...]
Boxworthy: Star of the Funny Pages
Posted in Notions on July 13, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Mr. Frisby, inspired by this comment, created a comic strip starring the one and only Boxworthy:
A round of IPB applause for Mr. Frisby! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
Revenge Ledger July 12th
Posted in Revenge Ledger on July 12, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Today I received a missive from Master Zach that read:
“You are hereby requested and required to replace Arch nemesis Crunchy’s jock strap with one made of tiger shark skin.”
Although I was unsure of how this plot would exact revenge, I did as I was told. I can only hope that the subtle difference [...]
Future Revenge Plans
Posted in Dastardly Plots on July 11, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Having done some empirical research, I am beginning to believe next summer’s various revenge plans should all include forcing the subjects to watch the Major League Baseball All-Star game. From my vantage point just off the first base line, I was able to see first-hand the pain and misery that “sporting” “event” can cause. [...]
Future Revenge Plans
Posted in Dastardly Plots on July 9, 2007 | 5 Comments »
Cause all of the strings on Travis Zajac’s guitar to be out of tune for his next performance at the local coffee house open mic night.
Revenge Ledger Entry for July 8
Posted in Revenge Ledger on July 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Today Master Zach requested I carve all of the foliage on Paulie Martin’s lawn into topiaries celebrating the great moments of Master Zach’s career. It took several hours, but I am fairly confident this plan will have the desired effect on Mr. Martin.
Revenge
Posted in Reflections on July 7, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
In my years serving as turtle-of-affairs for Master Zach, I’ve found it’s a dish best served cold.
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